New Year's Resolutions: time for a fresh start

Happy New Year! I’ve always thought that January is a tricky time for setting new intentions. Dark, cold mornings and shorter days plus the inevitable ‘back to work’ blues at the end of the festive season aren’t really conducive to healthy eating and exercise. I don’t know about you, but at this time of year all I really feel like is curling up under a duvet and eating comfort food!

Perhaps it’s not surprising that 80 per cent of New Year’s Resolutions fail by February. In fact, according to one university study, a tiny 8 per cent of us actually succeed in following through on our New Year goals.

Psychologists suggest a few simple tricks can help. In short:

·         Keep it realistic – Rome wasn’t built in a day. A long list of goals, career and lifestyle changes might look great as the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve, but in the cold light of day it will just leave you feeling defeated and overwhelmed.

·         Make it specific – the more specific your intention, the more likely you are to follow it. For instance, a commitment to ‘exercise more’ is easy to wriggle out of. Saying ‘I will go to the gym every Monday from 10am til 11am’ is much more likely to bring results.

·         Keep it visible – once you’ve set your specific goal, keep it in front of you so you can check on your progress. This can be as simple as drawing up a ‘to-do list’ with goals you can tick off over time, or you can get creative with journaling or vision boards. Or pin up some motivational phrases around your desk. Anything to act as a reminder of your intention.

·         Make it positive – it sounds obvious, but the more you want to do something, the more likely it is you’ll do it! Even if your resolution involves giving something up, see if you can look at it from a more positive point of view. For instance, instead of ‘I will give up chocolate’, how about ‘I will eat yummy healthy food’. Same intention, different slant!

With all these things in mind, here’s my own list of personal and professional goals for the year ahead…

I will go to bed early and get up early

Developing and maintaining healthy sleeping patterns is my most important resolution of all. As a freelance writer and editor who works from home, it’s easy to get into bad habits, since so long as I get my work done by the deadline, it doesn’t really matter what hours I keep. But consistently going to bed late and getting up late is bad for my body and brain, and leads to working anti-social hours, such as evenings and weekends. I’m much better when my brain is fully wired on a good night’s sleep.

I will stop being my own worst critic

There. I said it. I’ve realised that, creatively and even personally, the thing that stops me achieving everything I am capable of is a crippling fear that it won’t be good enough. However, very few things in life are perfect. It is better to create imperfect things that to be trapped into a cycle of over-perfectionism.

I will finish the projects I start

When it comes to creative or domestic projects I’m a bit like a butterfly, flitting around the exciting flower to flower but never settling on any one thing in particular. Partly this is due to fear of failure (see above) and also, as a working mum everything I do has to be fitted into tiny pockets of time. However, this year I am determined to finish at least one thing I start, and hopefully several, starting with the book of children’s stories I am currently writing.

I will value my time

Time is precious, especially as a working mum with a daughter who is growing up far too quickly! I’ve never been a very organised person, but I need to be, if I am to fit in everything that needs to be done as well as the things I want to do. So less time surfing Facebook and watching cat videos, less time shopping, and more focus. This includes giving myself permission to say ‘no’ to social activities or other commitments.

I will declutter

This has been my resolution for the past few years – to declutter from every area of my life, both materially, mentally and spiritually. I’ve learned that decluttering is a holistic process. Clearing out excess baggage is only effective when coupled with a commitment not to repeat past mistakes. My aim, ultimately, is to create a simpler, more sustainable way of living, which feels more authentic. Watch this space!

So that’s my resolutions – what are yours? Let me know in the comments below! Wishing you a blessed, peaceful and prosperous 2019.

Overcoming writer’s block - mindful tips to boost your creativity

Have you heard the one about the writer who sat down to write a piece about how to overcome writer’s block but had to give up because she couldn’t think of anything to say?

I’m guessing we’ve all been there. One minute, the ideas are coming so thick and fast that you can barely get them all out on the paper. The next, you find yourself staring at a blank page, wondering if you are really cut out for all this ‘being a writer’ lark?

The problem about so-called writer’s block is that it’s almost impossible to define. Some writers question whether it really exists at all? But as someone who has spent far too many hours staring at the blank pages of an existential crisis, all I can say that it’s all too real to me!

I thought of writing a series of friendly bullet points about how to overcome writer’s block, but it seemed somehow, too simplistic a response to a complex problem. So here’s the best I could come up with…

It’s not writer’s block, it’s a thinker’s block

One of my favourite quotes about writer’s block is from John Rogers: ‘You can’t think yourself out of a writer’s block, but you can write your way out of a thinker’s block.’ Writing is difficult. If it was easy everyone would be doing it. But giving up was never in my nature. We’re in it for the long haul, right? Most of the time when I struggle to write, it’s either because I’m tired, or lacking in confidence, or need to spend more time planning. All of these are problems that can be fixed. If all else fails, put down the pen (or iPad or mobile), take a break, have a coffee or two, or even an early night…and then start again. And again. And again, until it works.

Go easy on yourself

The thing about the creative process is that it doesn’t happen all at once, or even predictably. Usually, I begin in a blaze of enthusiasm, with a great idea, start writing it down…and then it tails off. Perhaps I haven’t planned far enough ahead, or maybe the critical editing part of my brain takes over. But sometimes ideas just need some more time to germinate. On a couple of occasions, it has taken me over a year to write a poem! So if it doesn’t happen all at once, don’t worry. Take a break, have a bath, get out into nature, feed the pigeons (for some reason, I always find feeding pigeons inspiring) and come back to it later, once your creative seed has had a chance to take root.

Switch off your inner critic

You know the one. You’re midway through writing something and all of a sudden you hear a voice inside your head telling you ‘This is no good; that’s rubbish; who would want to read that?’ or ‘Call yourself a writer? Why don’t you get a proper job?’ One of my favourite books, a children’s book by Laurie Fisher Huck called Magic Happens Inside of You refers to our inner critic as the Yackety Yak. Every time I hear mine, I imagine a big, hairy yak spouting lots of nonsense, and the image is so funny I find it hard to take it seriously any more. I also remind myself that no author ever wrote a perfect first draft, and that even a rubbish first draft is better than writing no words at all. And I carry on.

Create a habit

I know, I know, routine and habit aren’t the most exciting of things, but creating a good writing routine can help overcome those feelings of panic and not knowing how to start. A lot of writers swear by getting up at five or six in the morning and getting all your writing done before lunch (my good friend Rita has written two excellent books that way). That wouldn’t work for a night owl like me, so choose a routine that fits your lifestyle. I tend to write in the day while my daughter is at school, and then pick up any loose threads in the evening. Others find time at the weekend. Pick a time and stick with it. Writing is like training for a marathon. The more you do, the better you’ll get at it – and the easier and more natural it becomes.

Silence can be golden

Is your brain constantly crammed full of thoughts, worries, fears and ideas? Modern life is crazy busy! It’s not unusual to find me simultaneously writing a poem, cooking the dinner and sorting the washing – all the while trying to respond to my daughter’s constant demands for cheese strings, gluepots or cuddles! Our minds are stuffed to bursting. Did you know, the average person has around 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day?! With all that going on, it’s no wonder that sometimes our creative flow gets dammed out by all the debris blocking our minds! So stop…look…listen to the sounds around you. Take some time out. Even if you don’t practice daily meditation (and by the way, I’d highly recommend it) you can benefit by getting out into nature and spending time just ‘being’.

If all else fails…just keep writing

It’s simple, really. If you are struggling to find the right words, just write any words. Internationally acclaimed author Maya Angelou described her writing process like this: ‘What I try to do is write. I may write for two weeks ‘The cat sat on the mat, that is that, not a rat. And it might be just the most boring and awful stuff. But I try. When I’m writing, I write. And then it’s as if the muse is convinced that I’m serious and says ‘Okay. Okay, I’ll come.”

Do you suffer from writer’s block? What tried and tested methods do you have for overcoming it? Share your ideas and experiences in the comments below.