The artist Cezanne painted the same mountain more than 60 times.
Hi there, I haven’t written for a few days, partly because
I’ve been doing the Ten Day Writing Challenge http://www.taranicholle.com/writingchallenge/
(of which more later), and partly because I’ve been crazy busy juggling
writing, family and work. Recently, I’ve been thinking about all the things
that keep me from writing creatively. There are many, of course, and some are
excuses. For instance, I often complain I don’t have enough time, but I somehow
find the time to mess about on Facebook, watch funny videos of cats on YourTube
and…well, you get the picture.
If I’m honest, though, the main thing that holds me back is lack
of confidence. Speaking to others, I know I’m not alone in this, so I thought
I’d share a few experiences. So here goes. Here are a few of my most common excuses
for not writing…
‘But I’m not a
writer!’
This is my greatest fear. Psychologists call it ‘imposter
syndrome’ – the fear that, whatever you try to be good at, you will eventually
be revealed as a fraud. When it comes to writing, it feels inappropriate, even arrogant,
to award myself the same title as, say, Dylan Thomas or Shakespeare or JK
Rowling. But even the most successful writers go through many drafts and face
countless rejections before finding success.
Jane Austen’s early draft of Pride and Prejudice was
rejected by a London publisher and left to languish on the author’s desk for a
further sixteen years until it was finally published in 1813. JK Rowling’s
Harry Potter series was rejected by twelve different publishing houses before
becoming an international best-seller.
So just because your work isn’t hitting the best-sellers
lists doesn’t mean you are not a writer. What is a writer? Simple. A writer is
someone who writes. An artist is someone who makes art. A musician is someone
who makes music. If you do any of these things, you qualify. You have earned
the title of artist.
‘But anyone could do
what I do!’
Here’s one I’m particularly guilty of. Perhaps it’s because
of competitive shows like The Voice and the X Factor but it feels like, in
order to be an artist, you have to be better than everybody else. Well, here’s
a secret: You don’t.
I was never very keen on art at school. (Art lessons, back
then, consisted of being sat down opposite a vase of flowers, or something
equally dull. Those who could paint a decent vase of flowers were ‘artists’.
The rest of us were not). But recently I’ve discovered Celtic art. I love the
way the shapes and patterns curl and flow into one another, and drawing them
makes me deeply satisfied. I’m not a brilliant artist; I make art because I enjoy
it. For a long time, I hid my paintings away. I was frightened that if I showed
them to others, they’d dismiss them. I felt like a fraud. What if somebody came
up to me and said ‘That’s rubbish! Anyone could do that!’ Or, even worse, ‘My six-year-old
child could do that?’
It was the same with my writing. I loved creating poetry but
whenever I received another rejection from a literary magazine or was unplaced
in a poetry competition, it felt like a slap across the face. I grew deeply
jealous of the success of other poets, even to the point of resolving not to
write any more. Then I realised how ridiculous I was being. Of course a lot of
people could paint or write as well as me if they wanted to! But the fact is
that I am doing it. It’s not about seeking others’ approval. It’s the act of
creating, of leaving my mark upon the world.
These days, if somebody came up to me and said ‘but I could
paint that just as well’ my response would be ‘Brilliant! I’m glad I have
inspired you – now go and do it!’ Life is not a competition. You don’t have to
be the best, or the best-selling, or the most successful. That’s not what
creativity is for.
I was watching a TV programme a while ago about child
prodigies. There was a little girl, aged about nine, who was brilliant on the
piano. She was amazing, truly gifted. Yet listening to her performances, there
was something missing. Yes, technically they were brilliant, but when she
played she was totally static, like a machine, with no emotion. When asked
after her concert why she liked playing the piano, she answered ‘Because I can
win competitions’. She had been gifted with the most amazing ability, yet had
failed to see the whole purpose of the music, which is uplift the spirit, to
bring yourself and others joy.
‘But I’m not good
enough to show people my work yet!’
Here’s another secret: The more you create, the better you
will get at it. When I was living in London, I went to visit an exhibition of
works by the artist Cézanne, most famous for his painting of the SainteVictoire
Mountain. Did you know that he painted that same mountain over 60 times? And
that’s just the ones we know about. I wonder how many more potential
masterpieces ended up crumpled up in litterbins because their creator wasn’t
quite happy with them?
In fact, scientists have come up with the exact formula for
how much work you need to put in, in order to become good at something. They
determined that it took exactly 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert in
any field – be it learning a new language, training for a sport, or mastering a
musical instrument. Broken down, that’s around 20 hours a week over 10 years,
or about two hours a day. But even if you can’t afford a full two hours (and
let’s be honest, who of us can?!), just a few minutes each day will make a big
difference.
Whilst we might not all be a Mozart or a Beethoven in the
making, it stands to reason that when you start out on a new skill, there’s
only one way to go – and that’s up! Of course, there will be pitfalls and
disappointments along the way, which brings me to my next objection…
‘I can’t do it – it’s
too difficult!’
Well, hmmm, yes. Most things that are worthwhile are
difficult. Or, at least, they start off difficult, before they become easier,
and then become more difficult again. A few years ago, my husband and I took up
archery. We started off in a blaze of enthusiasm, practicing whenever we had
the chance. And surprise, surprise, we got better at it! But then after a
while, we didn’t seem to be getting better at it any more. Our progress hit a
plateau. There were always people better than us, and we couldn’t be as good as
them. It just didn’t seem worth the effort, so we stopped.
Writing can be particularly disheartening, because it is a
largely solitary activity and the process of trying to get published attracts
rejection. So it’s tempting to give up. Sometimes, I hit rock bottom, and have
writer’s block, and can’t write another word. But then I remember why I started
doing it in the first place. I didn’t start writing because I wanted to be
published, or liked, or admired. I started writing because I had to, because I
couldn’t imagine doing anything else, because I had a head full of ideas that
would explode if they didn’t somehow find some manner of expression. And
somehow, just realising this, makes the whole process easier.
‘But I will never be
the next JK Rowling/Jane Austen (insert writer of your choice)
Of course you won’t! You were never meant to be! You are
you. Nobody else in the world has your exact range of experiences, your
insight, your way of expression. You are utterly unique, an individual. Nobody
else sees the world through your eyes. So quit trying to be like everybody
else, and focus on being the best possible version of you. If it helps, imagine
you have just met someone at a party. What questions might they ask you? What
stories might you tell? Start with what you know. Tell your stories, as only
you know how. They are rich, they are valuable, they are beautiful; they are Yours.
Do you suffer from
imposter syndrome? What stops you writing, and what are you doing about it?
Write and tell me about it in the comments section below.
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